IMAGINE IF YOU COULD TURN ANY CONFLICT WITH YOUR WIFE INTO MASSIVE CONNECTION.
INSTEAD OF DRIVING A WEDGE BETWEEN YOU, CONFLICT WAS SIMPLY A CATALYST THAT BRINGS YOU CLOSER TOGETHER…
It might sound impossible, I get it.
Especially when your relationship is hanging on by a thread.
You feel like you can’t do anything right and
you’re under constant attack or THREAT of attack.
It’s hard to imagine that you can turn conflict like that into connection and love.
I get it – I’ve been there.
More times than I would like to admit.
But I’m living proof that almost any conflict can be turned into a massive connection.
It’s like if you complain about your favorite restaurant not seating you on time.
And you’re ticked off because you have a concert to go to right after dinner.
And then, when the manger hears what happened.
They comp your meal and give you backstage passes to the very same concert…
They went so far above and beyond…
the original conflict was maybe a 10-minute delay
And now it’s a welcome and profitable surprise.
Tell me you wouldn’t love your favorite restaurant even more – even though they made a mistake. Of course you would.
But how in the world do you turn marital conflict into connection and caring…?
Especially when you don’t have backstage passes and free food.
That’s when you need some Magic or rather MGK.
A 3-step method for turning conflict into connection.
If you don’t know, in another life, I was a Kung Fu Master, Teacher, and Champion.
I have tons of Ancient Wisdom I’ve learned over the last about 3 decades that apply to both
the martial arts and the marital arts.
And, I want to share just one with you today.
After all, conflict is JUST energy crashing.
This is the Magic Method to Turn Conflict into Connection.
Now, in martial arts I am trying to make a connection, to make an impact, to inflict damage,
and in marital arts I am trying to connect to make an impact, (can I say to inflict damage) sorry bad joke.
The impact in a marriage I’m making is a genuine connection,
so that we can attack the REAL problem and not each other.
So we can come together as Power Partners.
So first I’ll tell you what MGK stands for and how we use it in Kung Fu.
And, then I’ll show you how you can use the same principle for your relationship to turn conflict into connection
In a fight, the best strategy is to hit or connect where your opponent is open and unguarded.
The challenge is that they often have a closed off fighting position.
(much like your wife, or you, mid-conflict)
In Kung Fu, to create openings,
you play a strategy called “Man Sau” or ‘asking hand’ –
you feint, probe, gesture in order to get a reaction out of your opponent.
Once you get an opening,
you don’t immediately rush in
– you have to measure their reaction while you continue to probe the opening
so you launch non-committed attacks to probe for reactions, telegraph, or “tells”
– discover their habits of movement to set up for a follow-up strike.
This stage in the strategy is called “Gwo Sau” or measuring hands
– you’re measuring their reactions to your own.
Do they like to strike, kick, or lower their weight to grapple?
Do they favor their left or right? Do they circle one way or another?
Any signs of injury or protecting certain lines of attack?
Gwo Sau is about forcing them from closed off defense
into a dance where you can actually connect.
Once you have a good measure of their action and reaction,
their timing and distance,
you start to set up what are known as “Kiu Sau” – or bridge hands.
These are positions of superior engagement – bait to trap an opponent.
In relationships, same thing:
we are creating openings, we create opportunities
so we can connect and pull her in
so the tactical approach is different and the dance is different,
but the strategy, the methodology still applies.
Because the goal is the still the same: Impact!
Step 1: First, M= Man Sau – or Asking Hand.
During this step you want to see where she is coming from.
What is she protecting, and how can you get her to open up.
Step 2: Second, G= Gwo Sau – or Measuring Hand
Once the conversation has started,
your next step is to identify angles of approach,
points of connection,
move with her and seek to understand her moves from her perspective.
Step 3: Third, K= Kiu Sau – or Bridge Hand
Once you have found your opening
it’s time to connect.
Identify the real enemy that has you two fighting with each other
so you come together to defeat your foe.
That’s the high level view of the MGK Method of Turning Conflict Into Connection.
There are specific tactics and techniques for given situations, but now you have the exact strategy.
All my Marital Artists that start using this method report back instant and significant upgrades to their relationship.
Now, you might be wondering if YOU could possibly pull this off.
Some men have triggers out of their control
that get fired off during conflict.
Try as you might, you end up lashing out.
Maybe you fee you can’t hold back your attack long enough to use the MGK method.
There’s lots of reasons to think this may not work for you.
The good news is,
you now have a new tool that you’ve never had before.
It’s kinda like you couldn’t drive before you had a car.
This Magic Method will take some practice before you do it unconsciously like you drive,
but with practice and training you actually can turn conflict into connection.
Maybe you’re at a point where you feel like your relationship is past the point of saving.
She barely engages with you.
That’s actually where Jon (not his real name) was when I met him.
He and his wife were stuck, feeling isolated. Alone in the same home. She needed him to step up and when he didn’t, her resentment grew. Her resistance to him grew.
The snide comments. The criticism…Nothing was ever good enough.
Every single interaction felt like rejection and he didn’t know if his marriage would make it.
That’s when I taught him the MGK Method to create magic in his failing relationship.
And, against all odds
they actually went from the brink of divorce
to revitalize their relationship.
And, today, they’ve have a brand new baby!
But IF he didn’t learn the Magic Method…
he would have missed the very few opportunities he had to pivot.
Instead, he started to turn every conflict
turned into a connection.
And eventually
their connection was so strong
they stopped having conflict.
And it wasn’t just Jon…
Regardless of how far gone you think your relationship is…
if you want the best chance of saving it,
you need to practice the Magic Method!
While this is only a small part of total Domain Mastery,
it is one of the most important skills for Leading Like a King.
How to turning Conflict into Connection → Turning an Enemy into an Ally
When you blame each other for an invisible enemy
that has pitted you against each other,
you are both doomed to suffer WAY MORE than either of you deserve.
But when you are fully connected and aligned as a couple…
when you are tapped into full Power Partner mode
there are very few obstacles you two can’t overcome, together.
If you want more help with turning conflict into connection
or you want some more wisdom on going from
disrespected and ignored in your own home
to being fully respected, connected, and adored
without sacrificing your dignity or your power…
Go to LeadLikeAKing.com/book-now and book a triage call
with a Relationship Recovery Expert.
Maybe your relationship can handle more conflict, probably not,
but if you want more connection, definitely book a call now.
See you on the other side, my man!
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